I'm just ME

I said from the beginning that I was going to be open and honest with all of you so here goes.

Most people, especially my newer friends, don't really know ME that well. Yeah they know what goes on in my life but not knowing me deeply. One day about 4 yrs ago, a girl that I had only talked to a few times and worked together a couple of times, said something that really offended me. I was really kind of shocked that she said it. She wasn't being mean. I think she just said it without thinking or just didn't care. I don't know. Either way, I didn't think any less of her because she said it, just took me off guard and made me think. Here was our conversation.

Her: We should hang out some time and drink some beer.
Me: I don't drink beer.
Her: Yeah, you look like someone that doesn't drink beer.

I think my mouth dropped when she said that. I might even have laughed out of shock. I asked her what she meant and she said something like this 'You are one of these girls that go tan, won't leave the house without makeup, etc'. Okay. First off, anyone that lives where I do, KNOWS that I'm not scared to leave the house without makeup and run errands in town in my workout clothes or whatever I threw on to take Kiya to school and my hair in a ponytail that I probably didn't even brush before throwing it up. I'm sure a lot of you only see me with 'real' clothes on and my hair done and makeup on but don't be fooled. I like to look presentable when I have plans to go somewhere but I don't mind running errands not dressed up. When I was working with her, I was promoting my business. Of course I'm going to dress and look presentable. If not, it would look like I didn't take it seriously or even care. When I was growing up, my parents couldn't afford the nicest clothes for us. I really didn't have a choice what I could wear. I'm actually thankful for this. It made things harder socially but who cares. I'm a better person for it now. Now that I'm grown and can buy trendy/cute stuff, I'm going to. Not because I want to show it off but because it's what I like. I appreciate everything that I have and I'm frugal, especially when it comes to clothes. I dress the way I do because it makes me feel good about myself. I don't dress to impress others or to make people think I spend a lot on my clothes or anything like that. It's to make me feel good about myself. Believe it or not, I'm VERY self-conscious. I always have been. Getting 'dressed up', doing my hair and makeup make me feel pretty. Who doesn't want to feel pretty?

I felt prejudged by how I looked. Don't judge people by what they look like, whether they go out in their comfy clothes or are dressed nicely. God sure doesn't.

ME...the good and the bad.

• I don't mind getting dirty. I grew up playing in the woods, climbing trees, playing in the creek, etc. Yes, I just said I played in the creek. :) We played in the ditches when it flooded too and we loved it! I would still do it now if we had the land to. Get dirty I mean, not play in ditches or creeks probably. 
• I can get dressed up or cheer on a ball game. I can mud ride, ride 4 wheelers (gosh I miss that), have a farm (some day), have a garden or wear 5 inch heels and run in them. :) 
• I'm self conscious and awkward/uncomfortable around new people and don't even ask me to speak in front of people. Oh my goodness. 
• I love nature. My favorite vacations have been seeing the beauty our God has created. My favorite place has been Yosemite National Park. I've been there 3 times and would go back in  heartbeat.
• I'm a loyal lifelong friend when given the chance to build that bond. 
• I have a young soul, at least I feel like I do. I bond really well with 'older' women. Some of the people that I am closest to, are old enough to be my parents.  
• I'm a growing Christian and mother. I learn something new every day....something to improve myself. I'm trying! I really am. 
• I never feel good enough....like I won't succeed on something important. I'm scared of failing. 
• I've made mistakes but learned along the way.
• I've been hurt and broken-hearted.
• I've tried several 'careers' that haven't panned out. I'm a certified medical transcriptionist. Well, if my certificate is still good. I've been certified in life insurance sales and I was in pre-nursing when I made the decision to move to TX with Lance. I was later accepted to the nursing program but too little too late. In TX, the prerequisites were completely different and I would have had to start over. :(  Again, here is an example of being scared of failing. I'm not proud of it. It's just part of me. Something I'm always working on.

In the future, maybe soon, I think I'm going to post something private that happened to me. It's hard to think about but maybe it will give someone encouragement somewhere along the line. 

Matthew 7:1-6 - Judge not, that ye be not judged.