Being an Aunt is the next best thing to being a mother

Oh how I love being an aunt !!! I just wish I lived closer to them all. 

At 19 (I think), I became an aunt for the first time. Marlie Rayne. What joy that cute little red-head brought into our lives. When she was about 1 1/2 or 2, Lance met her. We loved keeping her. She was so cute and so full of life. I remember how cute she talked. She would say Cindalella (Cinderella), Lellow (Yellow), and everything was a cookie! :) Those big beautiful eyes were captivating and we loved every minute we had with her. She was the only one that got to meet my father, her Papaw. She probably doesn't remember him though. After the birth of our daughter, Kiya, we lost touch for several years. I won't go into that. I'm just happy that we now get to see her again and she is able to build that bond with us again. She will know that know matter what she has been told, we love her more than she can imagine and we always will. She's now 10. 

In July 2006, I became an aunt to 2 children at once. :) The day I got married, I became an Aunt to Dallas (then 20 yrs old) and also to Delaney (then 15 yrs old I think). It was a little weird being an aunt to a guy I went to high school with at first. Still is a little weird that he's only 2 yrs younger than me but it's okay!! 

In January of 2008, I became an aunt again to my nephew Caleb. What a sweet little boy he is! He has his momma's looks and a sweet little personality. He's adorable!!!! I was thrilled to be an aunt again, especially by my sister, Jamie. I remember the joy I felt when I got to hold him for the first time. What a sweet little man. I remember thinking how he looked like a wrinkly old man. Haha! He was beautiful then and so very handsome now! My sister is now pregnant with #2, a girl! I can't wait to see her beautiful face and hold her!

In February of 2009, I became and aunt again by my other sister, Nicki. She had a beautiful baby girl, Isabella. She had a scary entrance into this world. As we stood by the doors waiting for the baby to be born, the code blue lights lit up above her door, and nurses started running. Talk about a scary moment!!! Luckily, it didn't last long enough for the nurses to even get to the room. She was breathing and ok. Phew!! Thank the Lord! I'm so glad it turned out well. I can't imagine this world with out that beautiful little girl with that sweet little voice. She has a little mean streak but it goes right along with the blonde streak in her dark brown hair. She's one of a kind. Little petite mini-Nicki !

In December 2010, I became the aunt to Jayden, by my brother Kevin. This was his second child, first being Marlie. I think I left that out in my first paragraph. I love seeing Jayden's sweet face. I think I've only seen her cry once. She's always smiling. She's 2 now and really showing her personality. She's sweet and easy to please. She's so laid back. I just love her !!!! 

In February 2011, I became a GREAT Aunt to my great nephew Cash. His mom is my niece Delaney. He's so cute and I just never stop laughing at the things he says. My favorite .... WOOOOOOLLLL TIIIDDEE ! :) (Roll Tide) For some reason, he loves to lift up my shirt and sit on my bare stomach. His grandmother says he never does that to anyone else. I guess I'm just special. He calls me Jenniner. It's so stinkin' cute! I love his little curls and his smiling face. 

In August, 2011, I became the aunt to a new nephew Isaac, also by my sis Nicki. He's her 2nd child. He's as sweet as he can be. He has always let me hold him and play with him, even though he has never been around me much since we live so far away. I can always make him laugh and smile and I love it. He makes me smile as well. He just has the sweetest personality. I just can't wait to get a hold of him every time I get to MS. I am pretty sure he knows who I am every time now since he's a little older. He remembers. 


I can't wait to meet my future nieces/nephews. I'm blessed to have 3 siblings so I can be the aunt to several! The love you feel for a niece/nephew is almost as much as your own child. You want the world for them but you know how to discipline them as well. I am so happy that Kiya has so many cousins to grow up with, though we don't live in the same city (or state) as them. She will always have them in her life. I hope to be a great role model to all of them. I hope that I can be a Light for them and help them grow. I hope they can confide in me when they feel like they can't with their parents. I hope Kiya can talk to me when she's older but if she feels as if there's something she can't or doesn't want to talk to me about, I hope she can confide in her aunts/uncle.

Matthew 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Loss....and getting through it

As I come back from the trip home for my grandmother's funeral, loss is on my brain. Obviously. I've thought about how many people my family has lost in the past several years and how small our family is becoming but also growing at the same time. As a child, even up to my 20s, I've had many grandparents in my life. To help with any confusion, I'll sort it out below. I'll mark through who we've lost. :(

My parents and their sides of the family

Mother's side

• Great-grandfather 'Papaw', died when I was pretty young but I remember him.
• Great-grandmother 'Mamaw'
• Grandmother 'Nanny' ---remarried Grampa Dwight (still living)
• Grandfather 'Grampa Steve' ----remarried Grandma (both still living)
• Great-Aunt 'Aunt Trip' (she lived with my great-grandmother her whole life)
• Uncle Mike & Aunt Monna (Mom's brother and his wife)

Father's Side

• Great-Grandmother and Great-Grandfather (both died when I was pretty young)
• Grandmother 'Granny'
• Grandfather ---remarried Grandma 'Hershey' (we always referred to her as HER or SHE, hence the nickname...we weren't close)
• Aunt Debbi (Daddy's sister)

As you can see, we are dwindling down. We now have only ONE living grandfather, 2 living step-grandparents and my mom, aunt and uncle. That's it. Yes, we are growing because we are all having children but it's sad not having practically any grandparents left. We were so blessed to have our grandparents around our for so long and also great-grandparents. I am so happy that Kiya got to meet her Mamaw even though she doesn't remember her. She was such a lovely lady. She was a Christian woman, wise, loving, giving, and every other awesome word you could think of. I looked up to her. We grew up picking the gardens on the weekends at her's and Nanny's houses. They did so much for us and we were blessed to have them all. Every one we have lost has made an impact on our lives in one way or another. Just since 2005, here's who we have lost.

2005 - My Daddy (43 yrs old)

2009 - Nanny (Maternal Grandmother)

2011 - Mamaw (Great Grandmother)

2 wks later Aunt Trip

2011 (I think) Grampa (Dad's side)

2013 Granny

I'm SOOOOO happy that I still have my mom and other grandparents. I'm just sad that Kiya won't get to spend majority of her life knowing her other grandparents. They are all such amazing people. I wish my dad could have met all of his grandchildren. I can just see him with all of them. He would have his hands full but he would have so much fun with them. 

I really don't think I can take losing anyone else. I feel like we've lost so many people in my adult life and I'm not even 30 yet. I have gained so many others in my life though. I have new nieces and nephews that are such a joy and blessing in my life. I love them so much! I also have gained a husband and child of my own and they are my world. I named Kiya after my Mamaw. She meant so much to me, I wanted some part of her to carry on. She was thrilled when I told her that Kiya would get her middle name Belle. Next to my mom, my mamaw was the most important woman in my life. She made a great impact on me and I hope to be at least HALF of the woman that she was. I have made it through these years of loss thanks to family, friends, and most importantly, GOD. 

Embarrassing Mommy Moments

As a mother, we learn a lot from our kids. We try to teach them to be polite, use manners, say only kind words, etc. However, at some point or another, probably more than once, they WILL embarrass us. It has happened to me several times. My husband, the touchy feel-y guy he is, managed to teach our daughter something somewhat unintentionally. He did it to make her laugh but of course, she had to try it. At the time, she was 2. She's now 4 and still does it on occasion, even though I correct her every time. Here's what she learned from my husband. Warning: it's slightly inappropriate. :) He grabbed my breast and said 'honk honk'. Of course, she thought that was funny so she decided she would do it....in the library as I was standing at the counter holding her. I was very embarrassed though the 'clerk' thought it was funny. The next time was at Bible study. I really don't know if anyone noticed but I was still embarrassed. This was a small group and we were all in a circle. I'm guessing SOMEONE saw. Looking back now, it's funny but I was shocked at the time. 

Children will also embarrass you by stating the obvious, whether that be pointing out how someone looks, or by very loudly saying things like 'I pooted'. We were in Wal-Mart one day and little miss Kiya (being 2 yrs old I think), blurted out "Mommy, Look!! That lady has a big butt!" It's really hard not to laugh when they say things like that because it's so unexpected. I just always hope that the person doesn't hear her. As much as we try to teach our children that it's not nice to say things about people, they just say what they see and think. 

More recently, she said something to my father-in-law that was embarrassing but FUNNY!! If you know him, he doesn't get out much or up much out of his chair. He has really bad knees and can't walk far. His wife waits on him hand and foot but she pretty much has to, to an extent. So, we were all at their house for Christmas and my mother in law was bringing him his food. He then asked for something to drink and Kiya, as serious as she could be, said...."Pop, why can't you get up and get your own stuff?" We all about died laughing. Oh what comes from the mouths of babes. They just say what they think. 

Our children may embarrass us but they also make us proud. Just when you think you are failing at teaching them manners, they hold a door open for a stranger, say yes ma'am and yes sir, and say thanks! 

Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Don't just have faith....BELIEVE !!!

It's been several days since I've posted but I have been trying to find the right thing to blog about. Today, it was given to me. 

I mentioned this in a previous post but this seems to be the topic surrounding me a lot lately. It seems like every sermon, Bible study conversation, etc seems to lead back to this...don't just have faith but BELIEVE it will happen. I think it's probably God trying to speak to me, hoping one day it will just click and I'll get it. :) For me it's a constant struggle with not becoming pregnant. It's hard not to think about it constantly! I'm trying though...very hard actually. I know I should give it all to God but not thinking about it is just not possible. I guess nothing is impossible but try not thinking about something you want so badly. IT'S HARD! 

I have been to a few different churches here and hadn't found one that felt right. A few months ago, I decided to try a new church. I felt so welcomed and loved the praise and worship and the sermon was great!!! When you go to a church and you get goosebumps during every service (not from being cold), stay there!!! I do believe I've found my home church!!! So, with this being said....the past few sermons have been about having faith AND believing, letting go of your struggles and giving to God and they have mentioned in some way or form, getting pregnant, adding to your family, etc in each one of those sermons. I'm telling you...I think God is trying to tell me something!! Today, the pastor's wife had us do something that just lifted a weight off of my shoulders. I've never pictured it this way and it just felt amazing to let it go. I can't say it's not still going to be in my mind but I'm going to try my best. I'm giving it to God. Here's what she said and had us do. She said whatever is in the front of your mind that you need to let go of and give to God, put it in your hand and lift it up to HIM, giving it to HIM. Wow! I got chill bumps and immediately began to tear up. I felt like a weight lifted off of me. I was amazed!! 

I challenge you to do the same. Don't just think about it. Do it! Place your struggles in your hand and raise it up to God. He'll take it.


Matthew 21:22        And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive

I'm just ME

I said from the beginning that I was going to be open and honest with all of you so here goes.

Most people, especially my newer friends, don't really know ME that well. Yeah they know what goes on in my life but not knowing me deeply. One day about 4 yrs ago, a girl that I had only talked to a few times and worked together a couple of times, said something that really offended me. I was really kind of shocked that she said it. She wasn't being mean. I think she just said it without thinking or just didn't care. I don't know. Either way, I didn't think any less of her because she said it, just took me off guard and made me think. Here was our conversation.

Her: We should hang out some time and drink some beer.
Me: I don't drink beer.
Her: Yeah, you look like someone that doesn't drink beer.

I think my mouth dropped when she said that. I might even have laughed out of shock. I asked her what she meant and she said something like this 'You are one of these girls that go tan, won't leave the house without makeup, etc'. Okay. First off, anyone that lives where I do, KNOWS that I'm not scared to leave the house without makeup and run errands in town in my workout clothes or whatever I threw on to take Kiya to school and my hair in a ponytail that I probably didn't even brush before throwing it up. I'm sure a lot of you only see me with 'real' clothes on and my hair done and makeup on but don't be fooled. I like to look presentable when I have plans to go somewhere but I don't mind running errands not dressed up. When I was working with her, I was promoting my business. Of course I'm going to dress and look presentable. If not, it would look like I didn't take it seriously or even care. When I was growing up, my parents couldn't afford the nicest clothes for us. I really didn't have a choice what I could wear. I'm actually thankful for this. It made things harder socially but who cares. I'm a better person for it now. Now that I'm grown and can buy trendy/cute stuff, I'm going to. Not because I want to show it off but because it's what I like. I appreciate everything that I have and I'm frugal, especially when it comes to clothes. I dress the way I do because it makes me feel good about myself. I don't dress to impress others or to make people think I spend a lot on my clothes or anything like that. It's to make me feel good about myself. Believe it or not, I'm VERY self-conscious. I always have been. Getting 'dressed up', doing my hair and makeup make me feel pretty. Who doesn't want to feel pretty?

I felt prejudged by how I looked. Don't judge people by what they look like, whether they go out in their comfy clothes or are dressed nicely. God sure doesn't.

ME...the good and the bad.

• I don't mind getting dirty. I grew up playing in the woods, climbing trees, playing in the creek, etc. Yes, I just said I played in the creek. :) We played in the ditches when it flooded too and we loved it! I would still do it now if we had the land to. Get dirty I mean, not play in ditches or creeks probably. 
• I can get dressed up or cheer on a ball game. I can mud ride, ride 4 wheelers (gosh I miss that), have a farm (some day), have a garden or wear 5 inch heels and run in them. :) 
• I'm self conscious and awkward/uncomfortable around new people and don't even ask me to speak in front of people. Oh my goodness. 
• I love nature. My favorite vacations have been seeing the beauty our God has created. My favorite place has been Yosemite National Park. I've been there 3 times and would go back in  heartbeat.
• I'm a loyal lifelong friend when given the chance to build that bond. 
• I have a young soul, at least I feel like I do. I bond really well with 'older' women. Some of the people that I am closest to, are old enough to be my parents.  
• I'm a growing Christian and mother. I learn something new every day....something to improve myself. I'm trying! I really am. 
• I never feel good enough....like I won't succeed on something important. I'm scared of failing. 
• I've made mistakes but learned along the way.
• I've been hurt and broken-hearted.
• I've tried several 'careers' that haven't panned out. I'm a certified medical transcriptionist. Well, if my certificate is still good. I've been certified in life insurance sales and I was in pre-nursing when I made the decision to move to TX with Lance. I was later accepted to the nursing program but too little too late. In TX, the prerequisites were completely different and I would have had to start over. :(  Again, here is an example of being scared of failing. I'm not proud of it. It's just part of me. Something I'm always working on.

In the future, maybe soon, I think I'm going to post something private that happened to me. It's hard to think about but maybe it will give someone encouragement somewhere along the line. 

Matthew 7:1-6 - Judge not, that ye be not judged. 

Valentine's Gift Idea Using Old Jars

If you've been reading my blog, you know I like to recycle/reuse. I save any jars that I use such as pickle jars, spaghetti sauce jars, etc. You'll see my stash below. I have been trying to come up with a cute idea for teacher's valentines day gifts and I finally found one I like. I hope her teachers don't see this before they get their gifts. :)

Here's what I used to do the gifts: Jars, Pink spray paint, pink tulle and printed out a cute phrase. I found this cute frame @ http://www.squidoo.com/clipartborders and I put the phrase in that using Microsoft Publisher. I used Elmer's glue stickers to 'glue' the paper on the inside of the jars. I'll be adding hershey's kisses to these tomorrow!! The phrase says "Teacher's cannot live on apples alone, they need 'kisses' too.

Trying a new way to clean my stove...RESULTS

After several times cooking without really cleaning around the eye (guessing that's how it's spelled), by someone else that cooked at my house......I won't say names :).....I couldn't get the stains gone, not matter what I did. So, I finally decided to look on Pinterest. What CAN'T you find on there ?? I found one tip and thought I'd try it. It worked very well! I could have cleaned it a little better but I was ready for  a shower and bed. Here are the before and after pics. Oh, I guess you might want to know what I used, right? I made a little 'paste' out of baking soda and water. Poor baking soda into a bowl and add just enough water to make a paste. Then spread it out on the stains. Let sit around 10 minutes. I did it for 15-20 after I tested a small spot for 10 minutes. Here are the results. Keep in mind, I had already cleaned my stove who knows how many times with regular kitchen cleaner and it did not work. This did!!!

Pretty gross, right!!!?? I promised it had been cleaned with regular kitchen cleaner! I took the cover off of it if you can't tell.

MUCH BETTER!! Still need to wipe it a little more though.

Being the mother of a strong-willed child

I have a beautiful 4 yr old daughter. As long as I can remember, she's been strong-willed. I remember her first temper tantrum. She was 1 !!!! She actually worried me because I thought something was wrong with her. She was sitting down but kept throwing herself backwards. After several times, I realized that she was just mad. I never figured out what she wanted or what she was mad about. It was funny to watch though after I knew what was going on. It wasn't funny after the first time though. After several months of it, I thought to myself....okay, maybe she's getting her terrible two's early and the 2's will be easy. Ha! I was mistaken! There were the terrible two's, the horrible 3's and the I'M GOING TO BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL 4's! Ha ha !! I really think the 3's were the hardest but they went into age 4 a little bit. I'm happy to say that now that she's almost 5, she's so much better in the way she handles herself and I have learned some things. Being a first time mom and a mom to a 'difficult' child, it takes lots of research, advice from friends and trial and error to find what works. In her 3's, she went through a stage where she would scream at me when she was mad, kick and hit at me, and spit at me (on the floor not actually on me). I tried everything to get her to stop. We told her that it was not acceptable behavior at all. We did time out, spanking, taking things away, etc. Literally everything I could think of and nothing worked. My problem was that I would get so mad because I was being disrespected that I couldn't walk away or ignore her. Finally, I had to go to the part of the house where I couldn't hear her as well. I would set the timer and walk away. Finally after months of this, she stopped. She then found a new way to throw a fit. She would stomp. At 4 1/2 she finally realized that I'm not going to show her any attention when she acts that way. Along the way, it was tough for me. It's tough to stick with one form of discipline when you feel like it's not working. She went from being put in the corner at least 3 times a day to MAYBE once a week. Such an improvement!! I had a chat with her teacher one day, a day that I was at my wit's end. I was almost in tears I was so overwhelmed. Her teacher reminded me that her being strong-willed will serve her well when she's grown. I know it will but it sure is making it tough for this mommy. I do like that she's strong-willed because she knows what she wants, is decisive, and I know will be a leader. I'm just trying to form her to be a well-balanced adult. Friendly, loving, caring, gracious, and kindhearted but also a strong person that knows how to take the leader role. I'm kind of nervous about the teenage years! OH MY!!!! 

Mothers Of PreSchoolers (MOPS) has been a huge life saver for me. I get advice from other moms and also get encouragement and advice. I don't know where I'd be without them. Maybe in an insane asylum. Maybe not really. :) It took a lot of prayer and patience to get where we are now. I've worked on myself as a mother. I realized that I need to work on myself and my relationship with God to be the best mom I can possibly be. I am a constantly growing Christian and I'm always learning new things that I didn't know about the Bible, even though I was raised in the church and even as an adult have kept going. If you guys haven't noticed, at the end of almost every post, I'm adding a Bible verse that goes with what I'm posting about. 

2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.

It's been 8 years

Wow. I almost went the whole day without realizing what today is. It's the 8 year anniversary of my Daddy's death. I kept thinking that something was today but it just didn't click. I miss my Daddy so much. He was only 43 when he passed away and I was 21. Feb 4, 2005.

I was 18 (I think) when my parents sat down with my siblings and I to tell us that the doctor found cancer under my dad's tongue. We were heartbroken and scared. A year of chemo and fighting it, he was cancer free. When I saw my dad after surgery, it was a scary sight. His tongue was sewn shut to heal and his neck was stapled from where they removed his lymph nodes. It was a year of uncertainty and hope that it would never return. However, about a year after being cancer free, they found cancer in his ribs, hip, and lungs. Other than chemo, there wasn't much that they could do. He went from being active and around 145-160 pounds (I'm guessing here) to being 100 pounds before he passed. He lost the auburn hair to new grey hair that overwhelmed his head. He looked 70 where he was only 43. I was in college and working two jobs. I think it helped me 'deal' with it....really more like ignore that it was going on. I wish now that I had spent a lot more time with him. I was a daddy's girl. It was just so hard to see him that way. I didn't want to remember him that way. The day he passed away, we watched him take his last breath. I cried harder than I had ever cried before. I knew it was coming but you are never prepared for that. I would never see my daddy alive again. He wouldn't be there to walk me down the aisle or meet my children. I had a dream that my daddy was in the hospital bed, looking like his regular self and I walked in the room, and told him I loved him. He said 'I love you too baby' and I left. When I woke up, I felt a sense of relief, as if I had really spoken to him.

In 2006, I married the love of my life. We chose to go to the JP for a few reasons. One personal reason was because I couldn't handle having a wedding without my daddy to walk me down the aisle. I still can't go to a wedding without crying because my daddy wasn't there. The father/daughter dance gets me every time. I honestly don't know if my daddy knew Christ and had a relationship with Him but I hope and pray that he did.

Health, Fitness, and Running

I've always been active in some way or another. When I was little, back in the good ole days, we played outside until the street lights came on. We played in our yard, walked and rode bikes around the neighborhood, played hide and seek and caught lightening bugs! Gosh I miss those days sometimes. I was also in Tae Kwon Do. Some of you may know this about me but some may not. When I was 12, I got my black belt. Who would have thought, little ole me with a black belt. :) Once I was in high school, I was in the band and a cheerleader for a little while and also walked to school every day which was probably about a 1/2 mile or more from my house. Once in college, I was in the marching band (believe it!), walked all over campus and started working at the campus gym. A little later, I got a job at the fitness center on an air force base where I worked the front desk and also taught a circuit training class. I loved it! Then my next job was at a huge gym in Corpus Christi, TX. I loved working there too and I met some great people there.I love being involved in fitness. If it was worth the small pay, I'd do it now. Enough of the rambling about the history of my fitness involvement. I've always known that I enjoy working out and enjoy fitness so I guess it makes sense that it's what I was drawn to. Out of all of this fitness I've done, I've never been a runner, until NOW! I used to try to run but I always felt tightness in my chest which scared me so I would stop. I tried a few different times and just assumed that maybe I shouldn't run. I knew that it was a good workout though. I can walk all day, miles and miles before tiring so I finally looked into training to run. I heard about Couch to 5K so I thought I'd try it. It starts off slow, jogging a small distance and then walking, rotate. It builds up your stamina. Wow! I CAN run! The only thing about it that disappoints me is that if I skip a week or two, I lose some of what I've been able to do. I always have to go back several days or a week. I set a goal to do a 5K. I knew that I'd have to be able to run part of it but I got behind on my training due to not having time to run. The most I had ever ran before my 5K was 8 minutes. I wasn't expecting to be able to run very much at the race. I amazed myself though! I ran the entire 3.2 miles without stopping!!!! Ok, running isn't the word, jogging was more like it. I was passed by a pregnant woman and a speed walker. I'm not kidding! The point is, I ran at my own pace and never stopped, as bad as I wanted to. I was proud of myself!! I did it! Not only did I run, but I ran a 5k, one that benefited a Fire Department so that made it worth the pain. Four months later, I did the Color run. That was soooo much fun!! I highly recommend it. I am signed up to do it again in March!

If you think you can't run, you CAN. Don't doubt yourself. Anyone can do it. It just takes training to do it. Make sure you stay consistent. Find a running buddy. That has helped me a lot. It helps when you have someone making you accountable. God wants us to take care of our body, our temple but also our hearts for HIM.


1 Timothy 4:8
For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.