Loss....and getting through it

As I come back from the trip home for my grandmother's funeral, loss is on my brain. Obviously. I've thought about how many people my family has lost in the past several years and how small our family is becoming but also growing at the same time. As a child, even up to my 20s, I've had many grandparents in my life. To help with any confusion, I'll sort it out below. I'll mark through who we've lost. :(

My parents and their sides of the family

Mother's side

• Great-grandfather 'Papaw', died when I was pretty young but I remember him.
• Great-grandmother 'Mamaw'
• Grandmother 'Nanny' ---remarried Grampa Dwight (still living)
• Grandfather 'Grampa Steve' ----remarried Grandma (both still living)
• Great-Aunt 'Aunt Trip' (she lived with my great-grandmother her whole life)
• Uncle Mike & Aunt Monna (Mom's brother and his wife)

Father's Side

• Great-Grandmother and Great-Grandfather (both died when I was pretty young)
• Grandmother 'Granny'
• Grandfather ---remarried Grandma 'Hershey' (we always referred to her as HER or SHE, hence the nickname...we weren't close)
• Aunt Debbi (Daddy's sister)

As you can see, we are dwindling down. We now have only ONE living grandfather, 2 living step-grandparents and my mom, aunt and uncle. That's it. Yes, we are growing because we are all having children but it's sad not having practically any grandparents left. We were so blessed to have our grandparents around our for so long and also great-grandparents. I am so happy that Kiya got to meet her Mamaw even though she doesn't remember her. She was such a lovely lady. She was a Christian woman, wise, loving, giving, and every other awesome word you could think of. I looked up to her. We grew up picking the gardens on the weekends at her's and Nanny's houses. They did so much for us and we were blessed to have them all. Every one we have lost has made an impact on our lives in one way or another. Just since 2005, here's who we have lost.

2005 - My Daddy (43 yrs old)

2009 - Nanny (Maternal Grandmother)

2011 - Mamaw (Great Grandmother)

2 wks later Aunt Trip

2011 (I think) Grampa (Dad's side)

2013 Granny

I'm SOOOOO happy that I still have my mom and other grandparents. I'm just sad that Kiya won't get to spend majority of her life knowing her other grandparents. They are all such amazing people. I wish my dad could have met all of his grandchildren. I can just see him with all of them. He would have his hands full but he would have so much fun with them. 

I really don't think I can take losing anyone else. I feel like we've lost so many people in my adult life and I'm not even 30 yet. I have gained so many others in my life though. I have new nieces and nephews that are such a joy and blessing in my life. I love them so much! I also have gained a husband and child of my own and they are my world. I named Kiya after my Mamaw. She meant so much to me, I wanted some part of her to carry on. She was thrilled when I told her that Kiya would get her middle name Belle. Next to my mom, my mamaw was the most important woman in my life. She made a great impact on me and I hope to be at least HALF of the woman that she was. I have made it through these years of loss thanks to family, friends, and most importantly, GOD.